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Dick and the boys played a scorching set at the PRICK Rock'n'Tattoo show this last St. Patty's Day at the Star Bar. They brought the house down with their onstage antics and straight up pornocomedic routines. We spoke with these potty mouth rockers and the following is their psychobabble. DDTT is Dick Delicious (guitar/vocals), Hugh G. Rection (bass/vocals) and Busta Hymen(drums).
WARNING: This is an offensive interview and things mentioned within it context are said in jest and are not to be taken to heart. No farm animals were injured during this interview. Do not read this if you are easily offended and are a narrow minded, tight ass, living in the past, crusty old fart. No really, don't read this if your easily offended!
First thing I gotta ask, how have you kept going these last nine years? Your music is awful. I mean I can't play your stuff at church.
Dick: I'm only doing this 'til I can get my porn career started.
Hugh: My chili endorsement from Hormel keeps me going.
How did you come up with your band name?
Dick: Your Mom was giving me some oral pleasure and she said my dick was tasty, then I tea-bagged her and she said my balls were delicious - I was inspired.
If you could live like a king, what would you do?
Dick: I'd arrange fights, be the manager for both boxers, turn black, spike my hair up, make ass loads of money...I'd eventually go on a two week crack binge with my girlfriend pick up some other crack whore and burn her with the crack pipe.
Hugh: Get shot by James Earl Ray.
Busta: I'd probably take a shitload of uppers and downers and then fake my death in the pay toilet at the Taj Mahal.
Do you really play your instruments, or are you faking it?
Dick: Just like your girlfriend, we're faking it.
Busta: I really fake faking it. Hugh: All of my bass lines are lip synched.
Would your music be considered extreme?
Dick: It's been called extremely stupid, extremely annoying, extremely offensive - so...yes.
Hugh: We used to be an Extreme cover band - you should hear our version of 'Hole Hearted'.
Is DDTT Country & Western, Folk-Rock or Disco?
Dick: We're both kinds of music: Country and Western. Hugh: Country Folk Disco Metal.
Can you name all the girls from the Facts of Life?
Busta: Yeah, fat bitch, rich bitch, cycle bitch, old bitch, and my mom, Tutti.
Hugh: No, but I'd f#¢k them for some crack.
So exactly how long has DDTT existed? How did this musical reject act begin?
Dick: It got started when I was kicked out of Menudo for turning 17 and that was back in 1431. Then I met Hugh at the Million Man March and we decided to write a lot of songs about killing white people. We originally called the band 'Eat Red Hot Death You Scumfucking Biscuit Crackers', but then we decided to tone it down.
Hugh: In the Beginning, God created the Heavens and the stars, and with one swift movement of his finger across the horizon, the Earth was born.Through millions of years the Earth was in disarray. The Precambrian era brought about the first signs of life, followed by the Jurassic age and the rise of the dinosaur, Millions of millennia pass, new species are born and experience life with great relish, and then as quickly as they came to existence, they pass into the great void known as extinction. Soon the first semblance of man (Zinzanthopus) arises in the Old Duvai Gorge. Beijing man is bestowed the gift of fire from Prometheus the Titan, soon the Gods of Olympus rise punishing Prothemeus for his betrayal by driving a stake through his torso imbedding him into the Scythian cliffs and vultures ripped at his liver. Then, after eight years of Reaganomics, once again, God raised his lofty hand to the heavens to create, dare I say, his masterwork, three raging wanton stallions, hither to known to the people of these parts as the almighty, riveting, testosterone laden, showerknob masturbation fantasies of all women including dykes, lesbians, and clam lappers, the majestic Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles, as they came into their magnificent being.
Who are your musical influences?
Dick: I was really into The Hansons's early death metal albums.
Hugh: Any band that sings about Satan.
What happened when you were a children, to make you as f#¢ked up as you are today?
Dick: I inhaled too many solvents.
Hugh: My 20 LB penis caused me back problems.
What is your favorite drug, movie, and hobby?
Dick: LSD, 'Girls Who Suck Cock and Eat Cum Vol.666', and knitting.
Hugh: Doxidan, movies about being constipated, and incontinence.
Have you ever written a song about somebody you know, dogging them out, and then have them realize the song was about them?
Hugh: I wrote a song called 'Joey Casey is a cock-gobbling-ass-sniffer', but I'm not sure if he know it's about him or not.
What will the future bring to DDTT fans?
Dick: Prison terms.
Hugh: Venereal disease.
What do your parents think about DDTT?
Dick: My Mom is our producer - kind of like Destiny's Child.
Hugh: Yes.
When will you give up the dream of arena rock stardom?
Dick: In about 5 minutes.
Hugh: When I realize my dream of blowing up the world with my own flatulence.
Final swearwords?
Dick: Look for our new CD coming out soon and for everyone who's looking for copies of the first two they will all be available soon - they make excellent coasters for your drinks. They will be available because we are forming our own record label WFHTPTSOO Records (We Finally Had To Put This Shit Out Ourselves Records).
Hugh: Poo Poo, and check out our website ... www.dickd.com
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