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TURBONEGRO
Norwegian Androgynous Death Rock
by Jonathan Williams
Photos by Frank Mullen
From the May 2003 issue of Prick Magazine.
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To see the Norwegian band known as
Turbonegro, you might not know what to
expect from them. Known for wearing top
hats and capes and sporting a cane, lead singer Hank von
Helvete looks like a cross
between Alice Cooper and
King Diamond with his black
eye makeup and theatrical garb.
From a queeny keyboard and
tambourine player who goes by
the name of Pal Pot Pamparius
to a hunky sailor of a bass player
named Happy Tom, the rest
of the band looks more like the
Village People with their affinity
for bubblegum-colored lipstick
and various types of headgear.
But things are not always
what they seem when it comes
to Turbonegro. Sure, the homoerotic
imagery and mystically
dark overtones that permeate
past albums like Ass Cobra and
Apocalypse Dudes (both recently
re-released here in the States
by Burning Heart/Epitaph
Records) might lead you to
believe that Turbonegro is a
part of some new wave of
homo death-rock bands. And,
yes there are songs such as
"The Midnight NAMBLA," "I
Got Erection," "Rendezvous
With Anus," and "Good Head"
that might make you wonder
in that David Bowie/Mick
Jagger-caught-in-bed-together
kind of way.
Hell, even the band's
macho biker-rock toughness
and Ramones-like intensity
aren't completely convincing
once you factor in Euroboy's
'70s-style glam rock riffs and
androgynous appearance.
"The thing is a lot of hard rock bands these days try
really hard to be hetero," says Tom. "We try really hard
to be homo, so I guess we win."
"Rock needed some homos," adds Hank in his thick
Norwegian accent.
"Plus we like the
homo culture from
the '70s because it
was much more wild
and more of a masculine
rock scene."
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However, to
see one of the band's
female fans hoist
herself onstage to lay
a sloppy kiss on
Hank's sweaty lips
you might reevaluate
the band's sexual
preferences.
"That is actually why we have this homo image,"
Hank persuades. "Because when you go to a chick and
tell her that you're a homo, she'll immediately try to
convert you back to heterosexuality. We get a lot of
pussy that way."
"Well, thank you for the pussy, honey, but I think
I'm still gay," Hank says to his female fans. "Chicks are
turned on by us. I have no other explanation for it. It's
like that in Europe as well."
"It's a really dirty trick," concludes Tom before
several band members start inexplicably moaning and
laughing in orgasmic ecstasy for several moments.
And it doesn't sound as if this masquerade will be
ending for Turbonegro anytime soon. With the release
of Scandinavian Leather this month, the band continues
the more glam-oriented degradation of Apocalypse
Dudes while maintaining the elements of cult-like
darkness that have resulted in the band's own version
of the KISS Army called the Turbojugend, which has
chapters of overly devoted fans all around the world.
While songs such as the prostitution anthem "Sell Your Body (To The Night)"
and the ode to manhood "Train of Flesh" celebrate Turbonegro's debatable sexual
inclinations, "Wipe It 'til It Bleeds" and "Drenched In Blood" are comically
catchy despite their seemingly gruesome subject matter.
The band's American audience got a preview of some of these songs, as well
as some of the homoerotic stage antics that have made Turbonegro underground
legends, during the band's recent tour with
Queens of the Stone Age.
"We fired off an ass rocket in New
Orleans and they freaked out because of that
Great White thing," says Tom, referring to the
band's practice of firing bottle rockets out of
their asses. "Typical that some amateurs have
to ruin the party for us professionals."
A minor setback for a band that seems to
have found its own perverse identity with its
latest release. "Ride With Us" is an indulgently
inviting Viking rock celebration that finds the
band championing its darkest desires with a
chorus that shouts, "We're on a mission to
destroy." However, perhaps in a moment of
self-realization that hasn't been seen prior to
Scandinavian Leather, the band realizes on another
song that "Turbonegro Must Be Destroyed."
While it might sound as if the band has
created the perfect recipe for self-destruction
(there has already been enough drug-induced,
break-up drama for several VH1 specials), I
don't think Turbonegro has spread enough
darkness to be satisfied just yet.
"[Turbonegro] is like the blackest black,"
proclaims Tom.
"Extreme dark," continues Hank, chuckling
and deciding to finish the story himself. "'We're
so black that we're bright,' he said philosophically,
metaphysically speaking.'"
And we can only wonder how serious
we're supposed to take that.
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Turbonegro is currently on a European
tour. For more information, go to
www.turbonegro.com, www.scandinavianleather.com, www.burningheart.com, or www.epitaph.com.
For more Frank Mullen photography, visit www.matteblack.com
Check out the Turbonegro tattoos
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